There was a time in my life when living felt completely meaningless.
The Empty Days
Every morning, I opened my eyes only to sigh.
I was alive, but not really living.
I did things out of habit, like a machine.
No joy. No purpose. No emotions.
I often asked myself:
“Why was I even born?”
“Why am I here?”
It felt like I had been programmed:
Grow up. Study. Work. Survive.
Everything was empty.
I once thought:
“Maybe disappearing would make things lighter.”
No one knew.
No one cared.
No one would notice.
Relationships? They felt temporary. Fleeting.
People passed through my life like seasons, then left.
I Didn’t Know How to Heal
No one taught me how to heal.
No one showed me how to face pain.
I didn’t know where to begin.
No one said:
“Wanting to disappear doesn’t mean you’re weak.”
So I blamed myself.
For not being stronger.
For not trying harder.
For not being “normal” like others.
But One Rainy Day…
I remember sitting on the balcony. It was raining—gently, sadly.
I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t resisting.
I was just breathing.
And for the first time, I whispered to myself:
“You’re tired. I know. But you are not weak.”
No one understood. No one could feel what I was going through.
So I began to comfort myself.
It felt strange… but also real.
Because at that moment—I still had me.
Learning to Stay
I didn’t heal overnight.
There was no grand transformation.
No dramatic “aha” moment.
Just tiny steps:
- Writing a few words to myself each day
- Drinking enough water
- Playing songs I liked
- Sitting quietly, even when my thoughts were a mess
- Allowing myself not to be okay right away
I slowly learned to stay—not with the world, but with myself.
If You Feel This Too…
If you’re lost, empty, or wondering what the point is…
I won’t tell you to be strong.
I won’t say “cheer up.”
Instead, I’ll say:
I see you. I hear you. I’ve been there.
And I’m still here.
You don’t have to be okay right now.
You don’t have to know your next step.
Just…
Please don’t disappear. Stay a little longer.
I’m here, if you ever need someone to listen.
From a heart once broken, now slowly learning to come back to life. 💌
Can You Share Your Story Too?
Sometimes, just writing things out is already the first step toward healing.
One day soon, I’ll share more stories—mine, and others’.
So that you know you are not alone.
But for today, this is my heart, laid bare.